...and that's when Jesus flipped out...

Oh, crap. I had a bunch of good dreams all strung together in a continuous mix of themes... and I only wrote down one of them!

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Dream:
I was chilling out with Jesus in a park, and an architect or contractor approached us and said he had just finished building a church and would like to give Christ a tour and see how he liked it. It was suddenly right next to us, I can't tell you how it got there so fast without me noticing. It was a very simple cruciform structure, but a boring shade of brown. It looked a little stupid to me, and I think it might have been made out of cardboard, but I knew that Jesus would say that the appearance of a church does not matter as much as the hearts of the people part of it, or something like that.

The tour began of course outside of the church.
"Here is where I built the nativity set," said the architect as he pointed out the miniature figurines underneath a cardboard hut, built into the exterior wall of the Chancel. Jesus took one look at it and I could see the disapproval on his face when he turned to the architect. His expression alone was asking,
"What in the name of my father is THAT doing there?" but instead he decided to move on and asked, "where's the door?"

We were led into the church through a very short and narrow door on the side of the Transept. Jesus and I had to duck and bend the cardboard inwards a little to squeeze through. Inside the church looked even smaller because the Narthex took up half the space, with another narrow doorway into the Nave.

...and that's when Jesus flipped out...

He started to tear down the cardboard walls between the Nave and Narthex, so I helped him. The architect was dumbfound, for good reason I suppose but I guess he had it coming.

We moved on to tear down the wall of the Chancel. I used a knife to cut through the cardboard walls and my buddy Christ and I pushed the wall down and out, flattening the pathetic nativity on the outside of the wall. Then a bunch of people came to help make the place even better than the architect did.
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Zombies & Iraqis

Here I am again with zombies for a theme! These ones were kind of fun to dream.

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Dream 1:
I was fighting zombies out on the streets of an unknown medium-sized town. I was armed with my favorite scramasax, a pistol, and a large needle. This needle of mine had a very peculiar function; if I held the needle in my teeth, closed one eye, and lined up the needle with a zombie, he would pass out in about three seconds, regardless of how far away it was! For some of the zombies it was difficult to keep them lined up with the needle, because they would be sauntering and shuffling, and I had to constantly re-aim the needle using my tongue.

One of the zombies seemed to retain his intelligence from his pre-revenant days, and I began to understand that he knew he was immune to my zombie-killing needle science. At first I thought my aim with the needle was bad, or that he might be trying to dodge it, but no needle of pointing could bring him down. I shot him instead.

I got to a school and found some more supplies and things to barricade the doors with, and also thankfully some more survivors. I quickly moved a few things closer to the door and went out to fight more revenants. I was half a block down from the school when I noticed a whole team of zombies swiftly moving in from the soccer field. I was not prepared to defend myself against a rampant crowd of athletic zombies!

I ran back inside to see that my barricade and supplies were gone… along with the other survivors. I guess they considered me a reasonable loss and retreated somewhere deeper into the school building. I looked for something to at least make a doorstop of sorts, but I noticed that the glass doors were several inches smaller than the doorframe, and they couldn’t latch at all! I prepared to fight the masses…
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Dream 2:
Apparently, I was an American soldier in Iraq, trying to figure out how I was going to survive until the violence is over. I was also trying to figure out how to get back to my own people because I had been separated from the rest of my troop. There was one other with me, and he was the only one that had a pistol. All I had was a flare gun revolver that held three flares. If I had to, it could be used as a short-range weapon.

The enemy was all around us and I wished we could go unnoticed until our rescue, but there were a bunch of children who knew where we were hiding and I threatened several of them with the flare gun, mostly out of fear, but I knew I would not be able to shoot them, and besides, it would be a waste of a perfectly good flare.

We were hiding in the upper levels of a mid-rise building in a city. The building itself was more or less a playground for the children. It was partially in ruins and abandoned. We heard marching troops out on the street, so I peeked down from a balcony and saw that it was a huge military parade with fascist banners and soldiers that would happily kill us if we were discovered.

Someone did wander into the building we were hiding in, a civilian who actually wanted to help us if he could. He traded my flare gun for a magnum revolver and a stocked bullet belt. Personally I would have preferred a semi-automatic, but I was thankful at his generosity and felt like I was almost stealing it from him.

We decided that we could sneak out that night and possibly make it to safety. We were almost to a base when there was a chick with a gun who jumped out the back of a truck. She started shooting at us, me mostly, and I tried to fire back. I missed with the first shot, but the gun jammed on the second shot. Now I realized why I had been given the magnum. I should have kept my flare gun! Almost all of her shots grazed me, and I couldn’t get my gun to un-jam. Finally after getting shot at much more than I cared to, she just stopped shooting at me and seemed like everything was totally fine...
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